Survive: to remain alive or in existence after

Survivor: One that survives; someone capable of surviving changing conditions, misfortune, etc.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Begining

I can't explain it, but much of the events are clouded.  Maybe it is because they are painful?  Maybe because they were so long ago.  Either way, I am going to go with what I can remember.

He picked my mother up from Lynn's house.  The plan was to come straight to my house for dinner, yet no one seemed to have an appetite.  Pacing the floors...

I know that she challenged him when he told her he had been sexually abusing us for years.  She told him that we, her daughters, were liars.  He told her that we were not being dishonest.  We all milled around, some needing space.  Some looking for answers.

I walked out onto the porch, I needed some air.  I remember her following me out, she was crying uncontrollably.  We embraced and then...

"Why did you wait until I was head over heals in love to tell me this" she shrieked.

I didn't have an answer for this.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, maybe it wouldn't have happened to your sisters" she accused.

I couldn't dare answer this.

"Will you be mad at me if I go home with him" she asked.

"We'll get through this as a family" I promised.

This was the beginning of the end.  Our family would never be the same after this horrific revelation.  My relationship with my Mother was nearly over at this point.  Had I known that then, before she departed with the man she loved, I am sure I would have hugged her a bit longer and told her how much I loved her one more time.

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